Asking a yes or no question is going to give you a yes or no answer, and we both know that's not what you want. You get to decide what you want and let him know in simple and direct ways. His wife seems to want an affair, advice, or to leave. met him randomly in school 8 months ago..was not in any of my classes last semester, he started talking to me...but anyway, he kissed me for the first time 6 months ago on the lips (it was the only time he got me in private for a few seconds...it was just a peck 1,2,3 but after that 1st time he never kissed me on the lips again) ...the summer went by fast never got to see him bec. It also takes the pressure off the other person from feeling as if they have to provide daily updates and gives you both space to process your conversation, Dr. Ukuku said. what to do when someone doesn't want help, Find a nice quiet time and place to chat– and don’t force it if they say they don’t feel like talking. Something that is crucial to a loving, long term relationship. This is definitely one of those telltale signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. 4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Ask a Guy Where Things Are Going. When people are going through something tough, often, they just want to be understood. He is providing you with every opportunity to let him know how you feel about him. Your promise might help them feel more secure confiding in you. Is there anything you want to talk about?”. “The idea that you checked in on them is telling them, ‘Hey, not only am I seen, but also that I’m known and I’m loved.’”. Dr. Lee also recommends sharing a little bit about yourself to get the conversation rolling. This way, she said, your questions come out naturally. If you are more familiar with this person, Dr. Lee suggests asking specific questions to show you care: “How are your kids adjusting to so many changes at school?”. Its great if you ask but no more than twice a week. It shows me that he does care if I have a problem and isn't just asking to make sure I’m not “mad” at him. Giving space isn’t an issue if your focus is on making your life an amazing place without needing him to make it that way for you. Trust is a must in any healthy relationship, as the TeenHealth website points out. It’s great when a man keeps checking in when I say nothing is wrong. Say that yes, their situation is painful. On the other hand, if a man is saying this to you and your guy friend, then you probably can bet your bottom dollar that he’s miserable. It’s an understandable reaction, “but thinking about those things distracts your mind and you actually aren’t able to be empathetic,” she said. Then, tell him how you feel about him and ask him if he's okay and anything else you want to know about. How to ask a guy you are seeing where you stand. Why a guy needs to ask a woman 10 times if she is OK ... My husband would ask if I was OK and I would tell him I was fine, but I wasn’t. If your friend is experiencing distress, Dr. Joiner suggests telling them to reach out to their primary care physician or family doctor for added support. See more tips on how to ask someone if they're ok at. How have things been for you?” Or “I’m sick of cooking meals. Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. But if this guy checks all of the boxes and you can relate to all of the 15 signs on this list, then he definitely wants you. You deserve to have an answer from him. In order to connect with guys on a deeper level, sometimes you have to put in more of an effort, and asking these questions to a guy is a great way to get the information you want to help you decide if he’s the right guy for you. You never want your guy to feel like […] For complex problems with no easy solutions, you shouldn’t expect that you can resolve these issues on your own. Ask your partner what they could have — realistically — from you or their life in general to improve it. Saying something like: “I’ve been so stressed. This guy is either texting like crazy or completely silent. If the person doesn’t want to engage, say you respect their decision. 1 Trust Issues. Suggesting you do something 'boring,' or something that's all for you, is another good way to gauge his or her commitment to you. A man who is serious wants to claim you as his and give you the “Girlfriend” title. A guy may not always ask for space, but he will be grateful anytime it is granted to him. When you want to ask someone to give you something and you feel you need to be polite, it’s always a good idea to “soften” the sentence — I like the phrase: “Would it be OK if I … In some cases, even asking if someone is OK, “depending on how, where and when it’s posed, could be seen as an affront or even something where a case is being built to dismiss that person,” she said. Personal friends, work colleagues, classmates and family members all require different approaches, said Phoenix Jackson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. There will be times when your friends aren’t able to communicate what they need from you. or "all is well? " If something didn’t go as expected and if something disturbed you as a result; even for a day. She recommends reassuring the other person that you’re asking from a place of real concern. If I’m not feeling great, and someone asks how I am, I might say something like, “Could be better.” 2. !? If you make them comfortable and make it seem like just another hypothetical they'll be more likely to open up. If your friend has recently experienced relationship issues, health problems or workplace stress, or has faced financial difficulties, they may be especially vulnerable to anguish right now. Be explicit: “I notice you’ve been slower to respond to my text messages.” Or, “I see you’ve been sleeping a lot more than usual. Personally, i love it when i guy asks me if I'm ok it makes me feel happy knowing that someone cares about me. Communicate with him not about what you want him to do or change but rather with what you do and don't want for yourself. To make the conversation easier, you’ve got to figure out four … Asking For What You Need In A Relationship Isn't Needy, It's Sexy Far too often I work with guys that feel like they get walked on in their dating life. Never Let a Man Decide What You Get in Love: If you have an idea of how you want love to look, do not give a man the power to not give it to you. Another good way to frame a conversation about a partner's potential unhappiness is similar to this. They're unsure if the … While we may not be able to be physically present when we approach a troubled friend, we can create an atmosphere — and cultivate the right mind-set within ourselves — so the other person will feel comfortable opening up when they need support most. “When you’re in the conversation and someone is sharing with you a horrible situation that they’re going through, the first thing that most people think is, ‘What do I say? “What you’re trying to do is actually show that you want to know what their life is like and how they’re actually experiencing their circumstances,” she said. But this, of course, isn’t a perfect world, and we’re still in the throes of a pandemic, so this idyllic social scenario may not be possible anytime soon. If you have the kind of relationship where you can honor confidentiality, Ms. Jackson suggests offering it. Coming up with a follow-up plan — a phone call in a few days, a socially distanced picnic, a Zoom call — not only gives the other person something to look forward to, but it also sends the message that this checkup isn’t going to be a one-time thing. Food and drinks tend to put people at ease, so you’d nosh on snacks or sip a beverage together, too. If it hasn’t been at least three months of dating, then you need to scale back your worries. The goal, Dr. Ukuku said, is to plant a seed so that when they do need support, they’ll know you’re somebody they can reach out to. Dr. Ukuku suggests keeping your questions open-ended: “What’s the most difficult thing you’ve experienced lately?”. When you're worried about someone, sometimes the best thing you can do is listen and let them know you're there for them. When asking someone if they’re OK, the other person may reflexively reply they’re fine, which shuts the conversation down. If your friend is religious, encourage them to reach out to a clergy person as “they’re often really helpful with things like this,” he said. Checking in with your family and friends and asking how they're going is important, but can be tricky. When a man comes to you and he says “I need some space”, your most important response is to say “Ok, I understand.” Now, we can go further and add more words to this, but the essence of it is that you are communicating from a resourceful and mature place. Validate your friend. She suggests putting yourself in their shoes. Sure, he's going to listen and he'll care about what you have to say, but it's not going to feel the same. Hi, i get this alot, mainly from specific people who i don't really care about. When a guy has a thing for you, he listens in a very different way. Just reiterate that you care about them, which is why you’re asking. OK — one by one: 1. Ask them open ended questions, rather than just telling them what you think. For example i'll be at work, minding my own business, working or just surfing around the web, and then someone from another department would come by and ask "Are you ok? "
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